Blind Item

Wow, how do I say this without revealing too much. . . I just received news regarding someone I know using a service in a way that makes me laugh.
Good job, Ben, everyone can follow that statement. ARGGGGG! I wish I could reveal more, but this is a big personal victory for me. I win!

Google voice has some bugs to work out in their transcribing software.

Here is the Google Voice version of the voicemail below as transcribed by them:

"Hey, we're going to have to morning to guide me that would be cool voicemails. Hello talk sucker talk to pocket tell us your so long. Good G 9. But China, but the guy and Smith But China. Epstein is, which i did good. Talk to Willie clips douche bag."

Obviously, they still have some work to do, I contributed by donating this voicemail to their efforts to improve their transcription.

How I spent my November.

It's been a crazy month. On the first day of November, my beloved dog Homer had a freak accident and dislocated his right hip. After a very expensive overnight stay at the animal E.R. Homer returned home in an Elmer Sling and a fentanyl patch having had his hip forced back into place. Unfortunately, over the next five days, Homer's hip reluxated and he had to undergo more x-rays and it was decided that Homer needed a total hip replacement procedure.




Homer went in for surgery on Tuesday, November 10, but after being anesthetized and prepped, it was realized that he had a rash from his sling that could lead to infection, so poor Homer had to wait a week with his hip still dislocated until November 17 when he finally received his new titanium hip.


Thankfully, the surgery was successful, and after 2 more days in the hospital, Homer was able to come home with his new bionic hip:




As you can imagine, I am so happy to have Homer back home and that he is on the mend and expected to make a full recovery. The problem is, the accident ended up being VERY expensive and has put me into debt. In order to attempt to climb out of said debt hole, I've set up an online store with some Homer related couture and mugs and stuff hoping that most of my friends and internet friends would buy something, which of course would help me pay off some of said debt.

I encourage you to please browse the store and buy something and try to forward this info on to others so that they might purchase something too, helping to cover some of my sweet Homedog's medical bills:

Here is the Online Store


Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for all of the kind words, positive thoughts and general kindness somany of you have given me and Homer.

I'd rather be here. . .

98 degrees in Burbank, I wish Homer and I were at the beach.

a few positives because sometimes I sound like a whiney bitch.

1) My girlfriend is rad and I appreciate her on so many levels.
2) My dog (and above-mentioned girlfriend's dogs) are super cute, so are our rats.
3) The NBA season is right around the corner.

What a shitty week!

I really thought my week was awful until I saw this video and was so grateful I wasn't that guy.

I mean, I had a business deal go sour, my trust in a couple of friends was put in question, I found out my ex-girlfriend is STILL mentioning me in her comedy act (not favorably mentioned and this all comes after she swore she wouldn't mention me in her act, and then I politely asked her to stop after I found out the first time- Hey, ex-girlfriend, if you are reading this, I was seriously considering making fliers with some of the pictures I have of you completely naked and posting them at every comedy club in town, but I realized I didn't want to stoop to your level because I have standards about embarrassing people publicly, especially people I was in long relationships with because I have respect for myself and others).

ANYWAY, so after all of that garbage that happened, I am very happy that I am not handling it like the guy in the video above and I can feel very good about myself knowing that I treat others the way I want to be treated even if said people did awful things to me. A little kindness and positive thought can go a long way.

Match.com really has no idea how to market itself.

Wow, okay, so Junkfoodie, you're an all American boy and you love cheeseburgers. Check. Now all the single women out there know there's a site where they can meet a guy that will take them to Hamburger Hamlet (at best) 5 nights a week. Then the voiceover comes in and informs these lucky women that they can meet someone "special," while at the same time "Junkfoodie" dances and hoots like a fucking idiot.

That's a buttload of win, ad-fucking-wizard-fucktards. I don't blame the actor. He's an actor, I mean shit, I have a friend who did male-enhancement commercials and was put under the impression that they would only air in Canada. Well, they lied to him and I saw my poor actor friend portrayed as a guy who had everything but a functioning penis. This poor guy in this match.com ad probably trained at Oxford and his read on the character was, "oh! I'm playing a douchbag." I mean, with that copy, who wouldn't make that assumption.

The biggest surprise here though is that I was able to find this piece of shit commercial on youtube so easily. The comments are hilarious. Lot's of "Canz I haz Chezberger?" jokes. Good times.