Wow, so as it turns out, John Travolta used to be thin. Seriously though, I know it's the director's fault, but isn't he showering awfully close to that other dude?

It's official! I made up a word!

Yup, I know, I'm a very important person now. See it all here.

Too Much Information

So It's 4:30am. I'm super gassy. The kind of gassy that dragged me out of bed into the living room to post this. I wish I could say that they had a pungent, awesome aroma, but sadly, they just make a lot of noise and are very gratifying (in light of the lack of smell). My dog has been avoiding me all night, I think he thinks the 4th of July is going on in my colon.

That is all. I am sorry that you had to read this.


p.s. I have invented a new term: Fartsomnia. I put it on urbandictionary.com, now we wait for approval. More to come.

Oh No He Didn't!

Has Chia gone too far? Chia Obama is now available. I don't know why I find this so unflattering and disrespectful, but I do. At the same time, I need to buy 100 of these because in 10 years they'll be worth $1000 a piece on EBAY. Check it out for yourself at http://www.chiaobama.com.