Too Much Information

So It's 4:30am. I'm super gassy. The kind of gassy that dragged me out of bed into the living room to post this. I wish I could say that they had a pungent, awesome aroma, but sadly, they just make a lot of noise and are very gratifying (in light of the lack of smell). My dog has been avoiding me all night, I think he thinks the 4th of July is going on in my colon.

That is all. I am sorry that you had to read this.


p.s. I have invented a new term: Fartsomnia. I put it on urbandictionary.com, now we wait for approval. More to come.